Club dancing alone

Club dancing together - the vampire way!

Having a blast at the Laundromat... literally

An explosion of beauty

Roasted marshmallows for sweet dreams

A sneak peek at the future

Time for a pause

Sister on fire

Apparently, Sims can't be trusted around fire - at least mine can't. There she was in her brand new basement, dabbling in invention on her brand new Scraptronic Workbench... and before she knew it, she managed to set herself on fire!

Fortunately, her sister was close by, taking the fire extinguisher for a walk  - or whatever the hell she was doing carrying a fire extinguisher around with her! (don't ask, I've given up myself after all this time playing the game!)...

But as fortunate as that might be, it seemed to take forever to put out the fire... which got me thinking if big sis was having a little fun of her own as she operated that providential weapon of ass-fire extinction... It's just that halfway through the painful process, the clumsy inventor wanna-be was already looking like this:

"Give us a hug!" was the first thing on the charred sister's mind as soon as she saw herself out of that ordeal. Burned to a crisp and certainly not smelling like roses (no matter what the "hero of the hour" is thinking...) she ran to her sister's arms to express her gratitude and undying admiration.

She seemed to be extremely thankful rather than fuming over the enormous amount of time it took her sister to put her out... I mean, she was fuming - but only literally.

Don't fight the Universe

Sometimes your day starts in such a way that you're left with no choice but to conclude that the Universe is conspiring against you. And the Universe tends to run wild in the world of The Sims... that's what it's there for, right? It really is the perfect place to let your imagination run wild... as well as your dark side.

But I digress... As I was saying, it's those little things that go wrong for no apparent reason and at the worst possible moment that clue you in on the fact that the Universe is pulling your leg... and your arm - in fact, it feels like the big joker is sucking you whole into a whirlwind of despair!

Those moments may take the form of a clogged toilet when you really, really, really have to go...

Or maybe your state-of-the-art bathtub turns into a makeshift fountain when you just know that the only thing that could possibly restore your sanity after a crazy day at work was a long and relaxing bubble bath...

Or maybe you wake up late because the alarm clock didn't go off (an ominous clue right there...) and you gobble down some leftovers for breakfast and then... well, you're already late for work but you decide to be nice to the rest of the people you live with and put your plate in the dishwasher and set it to rinse. Okay, that was your mistake right there. The Universe was already having fun watching you run around - but then you played the "nice guy card" and that triggered a whole lot of who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are-to -be-interfering-with-my-plan?! So it upped the fun a notch and... "crash bang" went the dishwasher!

The Universe knows you, you know?... From the inside out, better than you could ever hope to know yourself. It knows that if you were being nice to the point of being late to work and you were still taking the time to put away your breakfast plate, how would you ever leave the house with the dishwasher on the blink and puddles of water all over the kitchen floor?... Never mind how much hot water that'll get you in with your boss when you get to work a few hours late... It knows you, you know?... And you'd better not fight it.

When breakfast goes horribly wrong

Meet the other twin. He's unlucky - among a few other things.

As a matter of fact, he woke up today feeling especially unlucky but still insisted on making pancakes for breakfast...

(for once, he'll be the one taking the first step in trying to patch things up with his sister after making so much fun of her last night - at least his heart is in the right place!)

Unlucky people should come with restraining orders to prevent them from ever approaching appliances like... I don't know... kitchen stoves? The trouble is that he's a little insane, too - so he doesn't know better and can't really be blamed for most of the trouble he gets himself (and others) into.

Even so, he's got two perfectly good eyes in his head and he sure can see trouble coming... just check out his uh-oh expression:

Just as he was about to flip them, the pancakes caught fire! And along with them so did the frying pan and the stove!!!

By now, his sister has developed a kind of sixth sense that alerts her to the kind of situations that always seem to occur  when he's innocently going about his business... In the blink of an eye (even before the smoke reached her bedroom), she bolts from her bed and gets to the kitchen in a flash - just in time to yell "Quick, grab the damned fire extinguisher before the whole kitchen burns down, you dimwit!!!"

It's a good thing that he was able to ignore her insult and get the extinguisher working... Under normal circumstances he'd only return a nastier insult and stand there - but the heat is making him uncomfortable and he feels compelled to put the fire out... and then he just gets really excited and keeps aiming the thing at everything in sight (at this point, his sister fears for her life and wonders if she wouldn't rather have died in the fire!)

Eventually he comes to his senses (and the fire extinguisher is now depleted...). His dismay is clear in his sagging shoulders: he is left with no more fire-extinguisher-fun... no kitchen stove... and no breakfast.

His sister is now worried that he'll just set something else on fire so he can have some more of that fun. Maybe it's time to get him out of the kitchen and take him out for pancakes...

Trouble at the cemetery

Nothing like a midnight stroll around the local cemetery to meet new people... former people?... current ghosts?... someone new?... Well, anyway, that's what this girl was up to a few nights ago.

Being what it is (mostly weird), my world of The Sims offers plenty of opportunities to socialise around the clock and around town. Being inappropriate, clumsy and unlucky, she's often rejected by other (living) sims - even her twin brother gives her a hard time most of the time! - and that's what got her thinking about broadening her small social circle.

No sooner had she arrived at the cemetery than this nice orange and innocent-looking ghost popped up from a grave! She hurried to greet him trying her best not to spook him with her usually odd manners... (yes, it's that bad - I'm pretty sure she could spook even a ghost with her ghastly social skills!)

But, alas... her self-imposed restraint didn't go past the initial greeting and soon she was monkeying around the poor ghost trying to scare him back into the ground - just to show him she could!

See what I mean?...

Obviously, this was something completely new to the ghost, more accustomed to doing the scaring himself. Needless to say it didn't go down well with him! He faced the misbehaving brat and gave her a piece of his mind (yes, in the world of The Sims you get to keep your mind and all the corresponding pieces if you happen to turn into a ghost...)

He tried his best to look scary and pissed off - to no avail, of course... She was at the top of her game - the national sport in the world of inappropriateness - and played a trump: the unexpected-slap-across-the-face-that's-guaranteed-to-drive-the-opponent-up-the-wall!

I don't have to explain what that brought on, do I?...

Once again, she went out looking to connect emotionally and all she got was a whole lot of fists connecting with faces and feet connecting with shins... 

But she also came out with a personal little victory - she now knows she can try even the patience of a ghost - and in her mindset that's something rated with at least 4 stars out of 5!...

If you want something done right...

... do it yourself, right?

Well, as usual, this is just another one of those things that gets taken to the extreme in the world of The Sims.

So this burglar (stylish, isn't he?) breaks into someone's house and is surprised by a state-of-the-art alarm system. It goes off ringing and buzzing and sending waves of whatever-the-hell-that-is through the air and scares the poor guy, er... I mean the stupid bastard half to death.

The police get there soon enough, as he's still too dazed to run away, but at the sight of the uniform he quickly snaps out of it and attacks the officer - no, he's not trying to hug and kiss the policeman... even if he's thinking of diamonds, I don't believe he's about to propose or anything... but then again, you never know with these guys...

Startled and disgruntled, the police officer is overpowered and falls to the ground not so sure about what just happened. Luckily for him, the house belongs to our martial arts expert. She jumped out of bed straight into this mess determined to put an end to it herself - or, at the very least, turn the damned alarm off!!!

The burglar never saw her coming - as you can see, he's still thinking of diamonds... and even looks a little surprised to see the officer's odd reaction to his unusual approach (or maybe he really is thinking of proposing...)

The lady in the pyjamas grabs the burglar by the neck and actually puts on quite a street fighting show which impresses even the police officer! I guess it shows just how ticked off she must have been - who needs martial arts skills when you can just smash the robber's face in and show the police how it's done? Nothing like a good fistfight in the middle of the night to help you sleep soundly till morning...

Now... if only the damned alarm would shut the hell up!

Scorched

This woman is a lady of many talents. She can even get away with walking around wearing nothing but scorched skin and blown up red hair - wait, no! This is what happened when she got cocky and tried do disable a fire trap that just wasn't in the mood to be messed with...

The thing is, she was on a mission. This one involved hacking into the computers of an evil corporation... an Egyptian evil corporation. Being all brave and skilled in the martial arts, she thought it was worth taking every risk that could possible be thrown her way - being attacked by creepy bugs, scary mummies, electrifying traps... And then she somehow stepped where she REALLY shouldn't have... and ended up looking like this...

But hey, do you think this small fashion mishap stopped her from doing the bad stuff to the baddies? No way in hell, no siree! She was all about accomplishing the mission... and waiting the scorched look out inside the tomb, because she'd rather face the mummy again than show her face around town looking like a redhead burnt coal!

You're in the Army now

At one point in her life, she decided to mess with her Karma and joined the Military career...

I guess she was getting fed up of all that Zen aura she came back with from China and wanted to get the adrenaline pumping back into her system - and she also wanted to mess with her Karma...

To take it a bit farther and really show off her new in-your-face attitude (messing with her Karma and with her superiors at work), she zenported herself right to the gates of the military base she worked at...)

That was fun - soon enough she was taken inside, questioned and water-boarded... well, maybe not water-boarded, but strongly advised to share her knowledge of that obviously alien technology she was using in the name of who-knows-what! 

Zen trance

Now this is a neat little trick she picked up in China... This is Yoga taken to the next level - to the ultimate level!

If she concentrates hard enough she can meditate and float and even.. teleport (or zenport as it's called in the world of The Sims)! This is way too cool!

Here she had just gained the ability and she just couldn't seem to get enough of the stuff... (I'll soon show you what zenporting looks like)

Showing off

No, she isn't celebrating that she just got asked on a date by that handsome lighthouse operator she's been keeping an eye on...

But yes, this display of physical fitness does have something to do with him - she's showing off her martial arts skills (and flexibility) to him.

Let's just hope she doesn't scare the poor guy off (assuming he's not too busy to notice her - or sleeping through the day as he works all night!). After all, what shape would he be left in if he happened to make a wrong move around her? I guess he's got a pretty good idea about that if he happens to be watching her right now...)

Let them fight

While some find the path to enlightenment by kicking everyone's ass on the way there (a perfectly legitimate approach, as long as I don't cross their paths), others evolve beyond that and choose to sit around and call it The Lotus Position...

You have to agree that it's much softer on your bone structure and much better for your life expectancy. It may not be much of an adrenaline rush but hey, who needs that when sitting on the floor and looking enlightened can even score you a few points in the eyes of the opposite sex? (that guy in white doesn't fool me - he's totally checking out my enlightened redhead!)

Rummaging

This lady is an insomniac. This lady is a stalker. Or this lady is just plain crazy and will get herself in trouble if she doesn't get her head out of that trash bin...

Some people will do just about anything to get the dirt on their neighbours. Maybe someone should have told her that you don't always have to get dirty in order to get the dirt on someone... She could have gone straight to the mailbox and break into it, but no, that would be a federal offence and could earn her a few nights in prison! Well, who knows if that's where she'd find restful sleep and real stalkers to make her see how wrong the path she's treading is?

Stuck drawer

Well, life just doesn't seem to want to go easy on this lady...

As if being sick from eating bad food wasn't enough (see previous post), now she's having trouble opening the drawer where she keeps some stay at home clothes to make herself more comfortable... For God's sake woman (Mother Nature is who I'm talking to here, ok?), all she wants is to curl up in a corner and forget she's alive for a while!  You didn't have to throw her off her feet like that! Give her a break, will you?!

Sick of it all

It may look like she's suffering the pains after one night of drinking herself silly... Well, unfortunately she's not.

I guess it was something she ate off that dish on the kitchen table - right next to her laptop. That goes to show just how busy this business woman is, and that's why sometimes she neglects her mealtimes.

She often ends up eating whatever first comes to hand when she open the fridge... and that's why she often ends up with her head in the toilet.