Friday, 19 November 2010
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Monday, 16 August 2010
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Apparently, Sims can't be trusted around fire - at least mine can't. There she was in her brand new basement, dabbling in invention on her brand new Scraptronic Workbench... and before she knew it, she managed to set herself on fire!
Fortunately, her sister was close by, taking the fire extinguisher for a walk - or whatever the hell she was doing carrying a fire extinguisher around with her! (don't ask, I've given up myself after all this time playing the game!)...
But as fortunate as that might be, it seemed to take forever to put out the fire... which got me thinking if big sis was having a little fun of her own as she operated that providential weapon of ass-fire extinction... It's just that halfway through the painful process, the clumsy inventor wanna-be was already looking like this:
"Give us a hug!" was the first thing on the charred sister's mind as soon as she saw herself out of that ordeal. Burned to a crisp and certainly not smelling like roses (no matter what the "hero of the hour" is thinking...) she ran to her sister's arms to express her gratitude and undying admiration.
She seemed to be extremely thankful rather than fuming over the enormous amount of time it took her sister to put her out... I mean, she was fuming - but only literally.
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
Sometimes your day starts in such a way that you're left with no choice but to conclude that the Universe is conspiring against you. And the Universe tends to run wild in the world of The Sims... that's what it's there for, right? It really is the perfect place to let your imagination run wild... as well as your dark side.
But I digress... As I was saying, it's those little things that go wrong for no apparent reason and at the worst possible moment that clue you in on the fact that the Universe is pulling your leg... and your arm - in fact, it feels like the big joker is sucking you whole into a whirlwind of despair!
Those moments may take the form of a clogged toilet when you really, really, really have to go...
Or maybe your state-of-the-art bathtub turns into a makeshift fountain when you just know that the only thing that could possibly restore your sanity after a crazy day at work was a long and relaxing bubble bath...
Or maybe you wake up late because the alarm clock didn't go off (an ominous clue right there...) and you gobble down some leftovers for breakfast and then... well, you're already late for work but you decide to be nice to the rest of the people you live with and put your plate in the dishwasher and set it to rinse. Okay, that was your mistake right there. The Universe was already having fun watching you run around - but then you played the "nice guy card" and that triggered a whole lot of who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are-to -be-interfering-with-my-plan?! So it upped the fun a notch and... "crash bang" went the dishwasher!
The Universe knows you, you know?... From the inside out, better than you could ever hope to know yourself. It knows that if you were being nice to the point of being late to work and you were still taking the time to put away your breakfast plate, how would you ever leave the house with the dishwasher on the blink and puddles of water all over the kitchen floor?... Never mind how much hot water that'll get you in with your boss when you get to work a few hours late... It knows you, you know?... And you'd better not fight it.
Saturday, 29 May 2010
Meet the other twin. He's unlucky - among a few other things.
As a matter of fact, he woke up today feeling especially unlucky but still insisted on making pancakes for breakfast...
(for once, he'll be the one taking the first step in trying to patch things up with his sister after making so much fun of her last night - at least his heart is in the right place!)
Unlucky people should come with restraining orders to prevent them from ever approaching appliances like... I don't know... kitchen stoves? The trouble is that he's a little insane, too - so he doesn't know better and can't really be blamed for most of the trouble he gets himself (and others) into.
Even so, he's got two perfectly good eyes in his head and he sure can see trouble coming... just check out his uh-oh expression:
Just as he was about to flip them, the pancakes caught fire! And along with them so did the frying pan and the stove!!!
By now, his sister has developed a kind of sixth sense that alerts her to the kind of situations that always seem to occur when he's innocently going about his business... In the blink of an eye (even before the smoke reached her bedroom), she bolts from her bed and gets to the kitchen in a flash - just in time to yell "Quick, grab the damned fire extinguisher before the whole kitchen burns down, you dimwit!!!"
It's a good thing that he was able to ignore her insult and get the extinguisher working... Under normal circumstances he'd only return a nastier insult and stand there - but the heat is making him uncomfortable and he feels compelled to put the fire out... and then he just gets really excited and keeps aiming the thing at everything in sight (at this point, his sister fears for her life and wonders if she wouldn't rather have died in the fire!)
Eventually he comes to his senses (and the fire extinguisher is now depleted...). His dismay is clear in his sagging shoulders: he is left with no more fire-extinguisher-fun... no kitchen stove... and no breakfast.
His sister is now worried that he'll just set something else on fire so he can have some more of that fun. Maybe it's time to get him out of the kitchen and take him out for pancakes...
Friday, 28 May 2010
Nothing like a midnight stroll around the local cemetery to meet new people... former people?... current ghosts?... someone new?... Well, anyway, that's what this girl was up to a few nights ago.
Being what it is (mostly weird), my world of The Sims offers plenty of opportunities to socialise around the clock and around town. Being inappropriate, clumsy and unlucky, she's often rejected by other (living) sims - even her twin brother gives her a hard time most of the time! - and that's what got her thinking about broadening her small social circle.
No sooner had she arrived at the cemetery than this nice orange and innocent-looking ghost popped up from a grave! She hurried to greet him trying her best not to spook him with her usually odd manners... (yes, it's that bad - I'm pretty sure she could spook even a ghost with her ghastly social skills!)
But, alas... her self-imposed restraint didn't go past the initial greeting and soon she was monkeying around the poor ghost trying to scare him back into the ground - just to show him she could!
See what I mean?...
Obviously, this was something completely new to the ghost, more accustomed to doing the scaring himself. Needless to say it didn't go down well with him! He faced the misbehaving brat and gave her a piece of his mind (yes, in the world of The Sims you get to keep your mind and all the corresponding pieces if you happen to turn into a ghost...)
He tried his best to look scary and pissed off - to no avail, of course... She was at the top of her game - the national sport in the world of inappropriateness - and played a trump: the unexpected-slap-across-the-face-that's-guaranteed-to-drive-the-opponent-up-the-wall!
I don't have to explain what that brought on, do I?...
Once again, she went out looking to connect emotionally and all she got was a whole lot of fists connecting with faces and feet connecting with shins...
But she also came out with a personal little victory - she now knows she can try even the patience of a ghost - and in her mindset that's something rated with at least 4 stars out of 5!...
Thursday, 27 May 2010
... do it yourself, right?
Well, as usual, this is just another one of those things that gets taken to the extreme in the world of The Sims.
So this burglar (stylish, isn't he?) breaks into someone's house and is surprised by a state-of-the-art alarm system. It goes off ringing and buzzing and sending waves of whatever-the-hell-that-is through the air and scares the poor guy, er... I mean the stupid bastard half to death.
The police get there soon enough, as he's still too dazed to run away, but at the sight of the uniform he quickly snaps out of it and attacks the officer - no, he's not trying to hug and kiss the policeman... even if he's thinking of diamonds, I don't believe he's about to propose or anything... but then again, you never know with these guys...
Startled and disgruntled, the police officer is overpowered and falls to the ground not so sure about what just happened. Luckily for him, the house belongs to our martial arts expert. She jumped out of bed straight into this mess determined to put an end to it herself - or, at the very least, turn the damned alarm off!!!
The burglar never saw her coming - as you can see, he's still thinking of diamonds... and even looks a little surprised to see the officer's odd reaction to his unusual approach (or maybe he really is thinking of proposing...)
The lady in the pyjamas grabs the burglar by the neck and actually puts on quite a street fighting show which impresses even the police officer! I guess it shows just how ticked off she must have been - who needs martial arts skills when you can just smash the robber's face in and show the police how it's done? Nothing like a good fistfight in the middle of the night to help you sleep soundly till morning...
Now... if only the damned alarm would shut the hell up!
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
The fearless mad scientist thought he'd stay away from the lab for a while... Where to go for a change of pace, what to do?... Since many of his neighbours where going on and on about France, China and Egypt as great vacation destinations, he came up with a formula to determine the best place to go (of course! - how else are people supposed to pick a vacation destination?!
After many calculations around that perennial question - where should I go? - the formula came up with an enigmatic answer: 42 (Douglas Adams fans around the world are in on this one). So he tossed the formula and picked Egypt - genius grey matter at work right there...
Once he got there, he couldn't wait to find a pyramid with a tomb to get lost in - so he did (it's not like the pyramids are that hard to find in the Egyptian landscape...). And soon enough he came across a fire trap which he promptly attempted to acrobatically jump over - he was determined to leave his mad scientist persona at home and act wild... or he would have tried to disable the trap (which probably would have been a better bet).
Sure enough, as his physical skills are way behind in the evolution scale when compared to his brain skills, he landed right in the middle of the thing - which utterly stressed, surprised and infuriated him to the point of turning his plumbob bright red!
In spite of his best efforts not to panic - Don't Panic! (another shout out to all the Douglas Adams fans out there) - his ass was literally on fire and that's more than enough to freak the hell out of even the most rational of people! So he panicked, he freaked out and acted like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights...
... and finally came out looking like this:
Leave it to a mad scientist to wear fireproof boxers and socks!
This is one of those times when I'm left wondering how this guy ever made it to Level 10 of the Science career...
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
What's the first thing a mad scientist does in the morning?
I don't know about the ones among your acquaintances, but this fellow I know runs to his PC to check his e-mail. Of course, he first changes into proper work clothes, protecting himself from all the crazy events that can (and will surely) happen around the house when you live surrounded by stuff you've been making experiments on for a few years now...
He gets to work pretty early. The fountain relaxes him and he takes a few minutes to go over a few formulas he'll be working on today - you can never be too prepared when you deal with hazardous materials all day long... Rubber gloves and protective goggles can only do so much to keep you out of trouble.
And then something goes horribly wrong at the lab and it completely knocks your socks off!!! Well, you can see that's nothing but a figure of speech because apparently all he was left with were his socks... It was an explosion of such proportions that pretty much everything else he was wearing got knocked off of him - rubber gloves and goggles included! So there you go...
No wonder he had to come out and relax by the fountain for a bit!
But this guy bounces back fast - I mean, it's not like that was the first explosion he's experienced at the lab... or the last, for that matter.
So, as soon as he gets home, what do you know? He still hasn't had enough of experimenting for the day and he decides to turn his mad-scientist-blaster-thingy on his own bed... I have no clue why he would do something like that but if someone pointed a gun to my head and told me "Guess!!!", I'd say maybe he was trying to make a nice woman appear out of thin air... Can't blame a guy for trying, right?
On the other hand, I can see he's getting sleepy and perhaps that's just the way a mad scientist turns down his bed - yeah, right!...
What I do know is that he still didn't get that woman-out-of-thin-air-thing right because he ended up surfing the chat rooms for a while before he finally went to sleep...
This woman is a lady of many talents. She can even get away with walking around wearing nothing but scorched skin and blown up red hair - wait, no! This is what happened when she got cocky and tried do disable a fire trap that just wasn't in the mood to be messed with...
The thing is, she was on a mission. This one involved hacking into the computers of an evil corporation... an Egyptian evil corporation. Being all brave and skilled in the martial arts, she thought it was worth taking every risk that could possible be thrown her way - being attacked by creepy bugs, scary mummies, electrifying traps... And then she somehow stepped where she REALLY shouldn't have... and ended up looking like this...
But hey, do you think this small fashion mishap stopped her from doing the bad stuff to the baddies? No way in hell, no siree! She was all about accomplishing the mission... and waiting the scorched look out inside the tomb, because she'd rather face the mummy again than show her face around town looking like a redhead burnt coal!
Monday, 24 May 2010
... and not the nurturing kind.
I mean mummies as in wrap-me-in-gauze-for-millenia-and-then-let-some-fool-set-me-free-so-we-can-have-some-fun - THAT kind of mummy!
So, my girl goes to Egypt, right? She immediately seeks adventure and starts running errands for the locals who prey on her bravery to get her involved in some pretty tricky situations... I'm sure you can all imagine how inviting an Egyptian tomb must be - well, imagine what you will, but you'll never come close to what really goes on in the tombs of the world of The Sims!
There was plenty to keep my redhead busy - fire traps, hidden switches and hidden doors to mention but a few. But, of course, the pièce de résistance is the Egyptian version of Haitian zombies - the walking mummy! She peeked into the wrong sarcophagus and voilà! (don't ask why being in Egypt is making me write in French - I'm pretty sure it's some kind of curse)...
At one point in her life, she decided to mess with her Karma and joined the Military career...
I guess she was getting fed up of all that Zen aura she came back with from China and wanted to get the adrenaline pumping back into her system - and she also wanted to mess with her Karma...
To take it a bit farther and really show off her new in-your-face attitude (messing with her Karma and with her superiors at work), she zenported herself right to the gates of the military base she worked at...)
That was fun - soon enough she was taken inside, questioned and water-boarded... well, maybe not water-boarded, but strongly advised to share her knowledge of that obviously alien technology she was using in the name of who-knows-what!
Now this is a neat little trick she picked up in China... This is Yoga taken to the next level - to the ultimate level!
If she concentrates hard enough she can meditate and float and even.. teleport (or zenport as it's called in the world of The Sims)! This is way too cool!
Here she had just gained the ability and she just couldn't seem to get enough of the stuff... (I'll soon show you what zenporting looks like)
No, she isn't celebrating that she just got asked on a date by that handsome lighthouse operator she's been keeping an eye on...
But yes, this display of physical fitness does have something to do with him - she's showing off her martial arts skills (and flexibility) to him.
Let's just hope she doesn't scare the poor guy off (assuming he's not too busy to notice her - or sleeping through the day as he works all night!). After all, what shape would he be left in if he happened to make a wrong move around her? I guess he's got a pretty good idea about that if he happens to be watching her right now...)
Sunday, 23 May 2010
While some find the path to enlightenment by kicking everyone's ass on the way there (a perfectly legitimate approach, as long as I don't cross their paths), others evolve beyond that and choose to sit around and call it The Lotus Position...
You have to agree that it's much softer on your bone structure and much better for your life expectancy. It may not be much of an adrenaline rush but hey, who needs that when sitting on the floor and looking enlightened can even score you a few points in the eyes of the opposite sex? (that guy in white doesn't fool me - he's totally checking out my enlightened redhead!)
This lady is an insomniac. This lady is a stalker. Or this lady is just plain crazy and will get herself in trouble if she doesn't get her head out of that trash bin...
Some people will do just about anything to get the dirt on their neighbours. Maybe someone should have told her that you don't always have to get dirty in order to get the dirt on someone... She could have gone straight to the mailbox and break into it, but no, that would be a federal offence and could earn her a few nights in prison! Well, who knows if that's where she'd find restful sleep and real stalkers to make her see how wrong the path she's treading is?
Well, life just doesn't seem to want to go easy on this lady...
As if being sick from eating bad food wasn't enough (see previous post), now she's having trouble opening the drawer where she keeps some stay at home clothes to make herself more comfortable... For God's sake woman (Mother Nature is who I'm talking to here, ok?), all she wants is to curl up in a corner and forget she's alive for a while! You didn't have to throw her off her feet like that! Give her a break, will you?!
It may look like she's suffering the pains after one night of drinking herself silly... Well, unfortunately she's not.
I guess it was something she ate off that dish on the kitchen table - right next to her laptop. That goes to show just how busy this business woman is, and that's why sometimes she neglects her mealtimes.
She often ends up eating whatever first comes to hand when she open the fridge... and that's why she often ends up with her head in the toilet.
She's stargazing because she's into Astronomy... or is she?
The way I see it (and I should know since she's sort-of-kind-of-like a mini-me...), she's spying on the lighthouse operator that lives on that island... I happen to know for a fact that it's a handsome young man who wouldn't mind socializing a bit with his curious neighbour...
Squish, squish, stomp, stomp... That's how you make nectar (why can't they just call it what it really is - wine?!) in the world of The Sims.
In my case, squish, squish, stomp, stomp, crash! - that's how I do it because my balance isn't all that good... Although, in my defence, I must say that the vapours forming beneath my feet must have had something to do with it, you know?
This brunette was looking for a fight - and I was kind enough to bring it to her, completely obliterating her in the process! Right there in the middle of a town square in France, complete with an audience and all. See the guy in the upper left corner? No, he's not yawning - he was rooting for one of us, even if I was too busy to notice which one of us he was rooting for.
Anyway, I'm at Level 10 in Martial Arts, so she never stood a chance!
She seems to be having a lot of fun - not so sure it was a good idea to float around like that in a balcony on the 1st floor, though... After all, you never know when those virtual reality goggles are going to run out of batteries, as anything can happen in the world of The Sims...